Day 1

I want to start blogging daily. There are again so many thoughts whirling around in my head that need to be placed on paper. I find that I always leave blogging to my last resort. Only when I am feeling completely overwhelmed do I start writing down my thoughts.

Things need to change. 

I like my life, but I want better for myself. I want a life that is amazing.

Things that are in the way. Actually, do I have to be super logical? I think what I am scared of most is not living my life to its fullest. There are so many experiences and things to do in life and I seem to be just on a treadmill, slowly trudging along, waiting for death. That is not how my life should be like. I am always saying that my life will begin at another point. But when will it begin?

I have such a weird relationship with my weight now that I think of it. I am so messed up. I should not rely on my weight to mark what sort of day I am having. Nor should I allow binges to happen. It is simply ridiculous. If I want to eat something and I should eat it. If I do not want to eat it. Don’t. Simple as. That is the theory anyway.

Eating should not be a cure to stress. It does not make you feel better. It is a vice and I don’t want to have any vices.

I over-ate as I was I do not even know. Maybe nervous for today and could not sleep. Who knows. And the worse thing is that my self-confidence is so affected by my weight, so eating more because I am worried is then making me fatter, and in turn fueling my self-doubt.