Every year this new year new me bullshit comes out, and every year I resolved I would lose that weight. I broke down losing weight into two things:
- Eating a certain amount of calories
- Working out
2015 came and went and I set the same old goal, and although I struggled very much so, this is the first year, where I managed to keep the resolve of working out. I worked out on average 3 times a week last year, most weeks compromising of every day workouts bar Sundays, and then a few weeks, where I had to recover from a surgery and also a few weeks of laziness, where I did nada.
That was my most successful goal. Exercise is now firmly in my life. I am still not the best runner, I struggle to do push-ups sometimes, but I can run 10km – with little walking breaks – and can do burpees like a beast, and that is a load better than I was able to do this time last year.
I have started and never continued on with many blogs. Something will always happen. The last blog I really liked, but it reminded me too much of my ex-boyfriend, as he was the one who had encouraged me to start writing a blog, and he was subscribed. Once we broke up, I did not want him being able to have a view into my life as it felt too intrusive. So I stopped blogging. That was a year and a half ago. However I miss blogging, I miss having a platform where I can write freely about my thoughts. I used to keep a diary but my perfectionist side hated my ever-changing handwriting style – one day it would be all linked and cursive, the next day it would be exceptionally small and flat. It looked as if there were different people writing in my diary and did not reflect the neatness required. So that is why I don’t tend to write in diaries. Other ways I have tried journal my life or places where I have written my thoughts is through tumblr – I used to have two blogs on there, one private, one public, and then I told my ex about it and once again felt it was no longer my free space. I tried instagram as well, but found it to be too short to write my rambling thoughts, and now I stick very much to putting on photos of my food and running etc with very little text. Also my phone died recently, so I cannot access my instagram at the moment.
Why do I blog?
I find blogging is a nice way to mind dump. Get rid of all those extra thoughts that are tucked away in the corners of the mind. A way to feel freer and therefore allow your mind to devote itself to the important things in life. I spend a lot of time thinking about life and what I want from it. So blogging could be perhaps a way of channelling all those frustrations and desires and helping me transform my wishes into a more concrete form.
I am at the awkward age where I consider myself nearly an adult but not quite. I am still in college, pay my own bills, live on a scholarship, have a part-time job, know how to cook and clean, yet still turn to Bank Mom when I have budgeted badly and my account is in red. I also have five months left of college and after that not a clue what I am doing with my life. I have a few life plans, but nothing solid. Just a great empty vastness facing me. Which excites and scares me. But will talk more about my plans later. This post was just a brief introduction into why I blog.